The 5 course pastie PART III

All I did to finish this off, was cut a corner from the cheese so it wouldn't break through the pastry. This didn't work and it was impossible to transfer to the pan for baking.
Although as you can see I did a lovely crimped crust before I attempted to lift it.

OK. This wasn't as fantastic as it could have been. I made a few crucial and critical errors, such as forgetting the salt (properly seasoning is probably lesson #1 in chef's school)
Could have done with veg stock or something for more body. The bacon went soggy and I managed to mess up my fine pastie look as I was attempting to transporting raw pastie to pan and then from there to plate was a nightmare. My thoughts are I could either pre-cook the bacon and the crust or make the pastie in-tray? Hmmm.
Need a better cheese than cheddar something that will keep it's shape yet taste interesting and complementary, perhaps a goats cheese veg pastie to keep my friend Matt Borg happy.
The only other criticism I have of this is that I forgot to sweeten the coffee to taste first. I take sugar, and it would be a good idea to ask how people like their coffee before baking it all up.

I will post again with the new improved pastie when it's made.

The 5 course pastie PART II

I have realised the dream and it was ... well, it needs a little work, but it's getting there.

Surprisingly the espresso jelly worked out well and it was the main filling that let me down.

Anyway, to tide you over until I write up all the details and paste up some photos from photobucket (my photos are here, but there's a lot of other rubbish there, too...) Here's the diagram I based it all on ...



It's not very clear, I was originally considering an additional hard-baked handle for carrying it, but talked myself into thinking it was a friend's mistake and that all it needed was some good crimping.

Plan Reads (left to right:

• asparagus tips (wrapped in the word bacon)
  
• Pork, fennel, coriander, white wine, coriander, sweetcorn and barley
• Apple puree and cardamom
• cheese and a grape (which I bought but forgot to put in)
• digestive border
• espresso jelly

Mmmm, still sounds good.

Pimp my 5 course pastie mother-fudger

Seriously. There is a mother who makes fudge somewhere, to whom I address the following:

STAGE 1: Planning

Plan for a 5 course meal in one pastie:
Each course must be able to seep into the previous without ruining the flavour.

bacon wrapped asparagus
mains
fruit-based pudding
Cheese and a green grape
espresso (probably in a jelly)

Notes to self: will the jelly melt when baked? What will happen when it does? Is the use of sugar paper (thanks, Alex) a good idea?

Batter mix

I am incensed by this stuff. Usually it says on the packet, just add milk and egg, but occasionally it's water and egg.
I wonder whether people know that they are basically buying flour, or flour and milk powder.
I hate people sometimes.
Then I consider custard powder, and absolutely everyone I know uses custard powder to make custard. This is normal, and yet the same applies somehow.
To make custard from powder:
Put powder into a receptacle
Add hot water
heat and stir
To make custard from scratch:
Put milk into a receptacle
Heat,
add an egg yolk and some sugar; stir.

I mean, whichever way you make it you have to get the proportions right, and most people have egg and milk in the house, so why does anyone even bother with custard powder?

And another thing ...

No. Actually I've run out of outrage. All this talk of custard has made me sleepy.

Beef stock

Some throw-away comment from Rosa on Friday inspired me to ask in the butchers if they had any beef bones. They gave me a large plastic bag-full for free, so I spent Sunday stinking out the kitchen with a simmering pot of beef and scum.

Having never made beef stock before, the first thing I did was track down a recipe. All my classic cookbooks failed me. I found no mention of it in Mrs Beeton's Household Management. Edouard de Pomiane simply uses it, he has someone to make these things for him, probably in these new-fangled 'cubes'.

Getting a bit more contemporary, an excellent book mum gave me for christmas, Living and Eating by John Pawson and Annie Bell (which is a bit of a snob's bible to all you need to know) told me that there was a virtual PhD in stock-making available it could attain such artistry, and then proceeded to only give me a recipe (which I made with good results just after christmas) for chicken stock. Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall got me all excited by having a reference to it in the index of The River Cottage Cookbook, but it turned out only to refer to its existence as a recipe. Finally! Gary Rhodes came up with the goods in his New British Classics book. Here's his recipe in summary (from memory):

• 5kg beef bones
• 6.5-7 litres of cold water
• 3 onions
• 2 sticks of celery
• 2 carrots
• 1 leek
• 4 tomatoes
• 1 clove garlic
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 sprig thyme
• salt

Roast the onions slowly for two hours or so. The Roast the beef bones at 200^oC for half an hour. Ten minutes in, chuck the roughly chopped carrot and celery in with the bones. Put everything in a big pan. Bring it to the boil and keep it there for 8 hours, skimming the scum off the top every now and then.

I ballsed up the thyme and chucked in some dried stuff, that I then skimmed off twenty minutes later. I also ballsed up by not having a large enough pan to fit all that water in.
By about midnight last night it was ready, if a little too reduced, even. I strained off the lumps, and took the bones out of these. Then I pureed the remainder into a further stage opf soup, that made a grinding noise with the blender as the bits of gristle and bone whizzed round (I had to hack the some of the roasted bones in half with a butcher's cleaver - no simple task for a first-timer). Two minutes later, this final by-product was in the Council compost bin, which marks the territory of our doorstep like the piss of a randy old alcoholic fishmonger. Can't wait for summer!

By 1 am, I'd finished pouring it into various containers to cool, and sort the skimmed-off matter to get some second servings of stock, true blemished skimmings and purest beef lard (pure except for a bit of thyme and leek).
I'll let you know if it was worth the effort when I actually make something.

The chicken stock has made some really really nice stew with a recipe from Nigel Slater's Kitchen Diary, which I got for christmas and am spending the year reading so that I can appreciate the food and get inspiration for seasonal cooking.

Pickled Eggs

After the last post it seems a bit weird to post such a mundane thing, but I guess really getting into pickles could be a normal reaction to fatherhood.
Last night I watched the latest episode of In Search of Perfection on the cable Watch Again thingummy and made pickled eggs.

This is the recipe I used for the eggs, which smelled proper nice, but I can't check for six weeks (i.e. Christmas)

• 2 and a half pints cider vinegar
• 12 eggs (preferably organic ones)
• 2 blades mace
• 12 cloves
• 1 ounce (25g) pickling spices
• A couple of hefty jars - I had to finish off some gherkins and still had too much vinegar and not enough eggs

The recipe is really quite simple: You hard-boil the eggs and put them in cold water, you boil the vinegar with the spices (all wrapped up in muslin) for 10 minutes and then put it all in sterilised jars; put half the vinegar in first, then top up once filled with eggs.
Sterilising Jars is a pain. I always end up chucking them in a pan of boiling water and then putting them in a low oven (160 ^oC) for ten minutes.

My hope is that this will be ready for Christmas, with my sloe gin, elderflower wine (which will free up the demi-john for blackberry wine with the blackberries in the freezer) and the ancient mincemeat from last year. It's a homemade wholesome gargantuan festive feast. The only shame is Rosa won't eat the eggs or drink the booze, poor thing.

Perfection - the TV series

Last night the TV series started. I was pleasantly surprised by how personable Heston Blumenthal came across as being. My expectations from his photos and writing manner was that he would be a lot gruffer and more surly in that kind of blinkered obsessive way. The man himself seemed quite charming.
The programme was good, but having read the book I expected it to be far more in the documentary style, following him around as he weighs the dry weight of potatoes and gets lessons in feeding sausage meet into a lamb’s intestines.
Instead, each half-hour episode looks like it is taken up with a small amount of his research (having read the book it could be over an hour for each dish, but I would like that; I like to know the reasons why each potato is good for sauté rather than Bombay wedges) some of his talking head saying about why this dish is special to him (I reckon this will invariably be down to childhood nostalgia) and the rest is just making two dishes in a TV kitchen.
I was double-excited to see dry ice ice cream being made at last, though. Gonna get me some of that stuff (If anyone wants to get in on some of the ice let me know as you can only buy it as ten 1kg blocks, apparently). In summary, I was pleasantly surprised by the charisma of Dr Blumenthal and the program overall. I would have liked to see more of the research and less of the putting-the-recipe-together bits. But that’s just me, I’m sure most people were happy with the already fastidious attention to detail and amazing chemistry as it was.

In search of Perfection

I keep meaning to post up a cathartic rant about how I'm always staying up late and watching crap films on TV. It drives me crazy. I used to berate myself for wasting my life away by getting stoned and doing nothing. Then my asthma got too bad, and I cut back and then gave up smoking pot. Next I berated myself for drinking most days of the week, not necessarily heavily, but, you know...
Now I just berate myself for watching crap and wasting my life by being permanently tired.
Anyway, last night, I got back from watching Little Miss Sunshine at the Orpheus (which was brilliant) and managed to not collapse in front of the telly, but nevertheless stayed up late reading my new book.

I bought this half price on Amazon.

That Heston Blumenthal is a bloody great genius (is what he is). I'm not entirely persuaded that I would like him, but I certainly respect him to hell and back.

This is the accompanying book to an upcoming BBC TV series in which Dr Blumenthal (recently granted an honorary degree by Reading University; he aspires to write a paper on Umami in tomato sauce)creates some very standard everyday meals. The twist is he makes the very best version of them that he can possibly muster. Last night I read the chapters on roast chicken and roast potatoes; bangers and mash; spaghetti bolognese and pizza; and I don't think there was a single recipe at the end which you could easily cook in less than a day.
Bloody.
Genius.
I mean, let's take the example of a roast chicken (and I hope I don't spoil this for anyone here). He tracks down the finest breed of French chicken living off the perfect soil and running free. Pickles it in brine, roasts it slow with regularly thermometer probing, injects flavoured butter into the flesh and then fries the bastard up in a frying pan to make it golden brown.
It's not a typical chicken.
I was quite expecting him to go for the standard haute cuisine of par-boiled potatoes in goose fat, but to my surprise he boils them for about 20 minutes until they're barely held together and then roasts them up in olive oil in a separate pan to the chicken!
I'm not sure I totally agree. But the man is a genius and I haven't tried his version yet, so he's probably right. I'll have to track down the specific family of potato first, too.

Anyway, the book is brilliant, he describes the history and beauty of each dish, travels around to find the ultimate suppliers and goes into great detail about the molecular composition of the food, how it's usually done wrong and all his reasons for doing the weird things he does.

In all honesty I'm expecting another late night of reading definitive recipes and exhausted mental self-flagellation.

Omega 3 oils

Following on from an interesting series of articles in the Ecologist the other month, the Guardian is now highlighting some research into the effects of diet on Anti-social behaviour and in particular the ongoing discussion over whether we should be force-feeding schoolchildren and prisoners cod liver oil.

He has been rocking his 6ft 2in bulk to and fro while delivering a confessional account of his past into the middle distance. He wants us to know what has saved him after 20 years on the streets: "My dome is working. They gave me some kind of pill and I changed. Me, myself and I, I changed."
...
The UK prison trial at Aylesbury jail showed that when young men there were fed multivitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids, the number of violent offences they committed in the prison fell by 37%. Although no one is suggesting that poor diet alone can account for complex social problems, the former chief inspector of prisons Lord Ramsbotham says that he is now "absolutely convinced that there is a direct link between diet and antisocial behaviour, both that bad diet causes bad behaviour and that good diet prevents it."

I'm not sure how good for sustaiable fisheries this news is, but that your diet has a huge impact on your life is clear to anyone who's in my house about 8 o'clock; typically, I'll still be halfway through crashing about the kitchen and swearing about how there's no coconut milk, oblivious to some burning onions. The rage and the fury will be beautifully counterpoised by my girlfriend's drained expression as she stares with blank hunger at the half-chopped vegetables on the chopping board.
As soon as we've eaten we get sleepy and then about an hour later we can get stuff done again.
Proper eating is like proper sleeping. If you don't do it correctly it's not surprising you go a bit doolally. I can't really speak. I have been skipping breakfast for about a year now, and generally don't get hungry until about eleven thirty in the morning.
Anyway, do clcik on the title and read the article above, it's quite interesting.

Pumpkin Pie

Our garden was covered by thick chords of creeping vine this summer from our five Giant pumpkin plants.
Only one solitary pumpkin made it from this sprawling mass, all the others either dropped off in the heat when they were tiny or got eaten by our mouse (who lives in the wall).

We harvested the only pumpkin about a fortnight ago, before the rain mushed it or rodents got it.

Rosa turned half of it into a really nice soup.

I got the remaining half and found a recipe for Pumpkin pie in "Food from your Garden"

This is a typical 50s recipe consisting, consisting of getting a few good ingredients and basic flavours and lacing them heavily with cream.

• about 200g shortcrust pastry
• 500g Pumpkin
• cream
• 2 egg yolks
• ground cardamom
• ground cinnamon
• sugar! (I forgot)
  

First up, the tricky bit that I got wrong! - Scoop the flesh out of your pumpkin, carefully taking out all the seeds. Next boil it with a little water (it will make it's own juice once it's got going a bit). About 15-20 minutes on a low heat is good, then strain some of the liquid off and sieve it into a puree.

Whilst you're dong this, blind bake some shortcrust pastry for ten minutes. Blind baking is simply baking the pastry on its own in a greased dish with some dried beans to weight it down.

This was where I was having problems as, not having removed all my seeds I had to go through it as ach batch went into the sieve. The other problem was, it wouldn't really go through the sieve. I don't whether pumpkins weren't as hady or sieves were made of sterner stuff back in the day, but mine certainly didn't look up to the task.

Next all there is to do is turn the mush into a kind of custard mix.

To do this mix the cream, sugar and pumpkin together. Flavour with spices (the original recipe had nutmeg and cinnamon, but cardamom is my current favourite), then stir in two egg yolks. I forgot the sugar at this stage and then went out to the pub whilst it baked.

Rosa astutely recognised something was up and put some sugar on top and tok my mini flame thrower to it. That's why it looks a bit like creme brulee in this final picture:

The British stiff white upper lip

A British Dairy farm has caused controversy within the EU after it has been closed down.

Various EU Member states have banned produce from Bowland Farm in Lancashire after the European Commission found serious breaches of EU food safety rules. It stated:

There was evidence that raw milk containing antibiotic residues or contaminated with substances such as detergents and dyes was being used to make curd cheese, as was out-of-date milk collected from retail establishments. Bowland was also using mouldy and contaminated cheese (including “floor waste”) to vacuum-pack for sale.

The milk curd was sold in Europe to be turned into processed cheese.

The European Commission will be sending a team of investigators from the Food and Veterinary Office in November, with a brief to investigate the standards of the whole British Dairy industry. The UK FSA, on the other hand are not prepared at this stage to state that they are at fault. There is, they say, "a genuine difference of scientific opinion between the UK and the European Commission about how you interpret testing results for antibiotics in milk."

At present there is a Mexican stand-off between the two parties. The ban, which came in on 6 October 2006, will remain in place until the EU Commission is satisfied that the UK FSA has demonstrated that "there is no risk to human health and has changed its procedures with regard to what it demands for antibiotic testing in milk."

Until then, I shall be happily drinking Organic Milk.

Following strong campaigning by the Soil Association, Glasgow University has conducted tests on organic milk. On carrying out an assessment of their evidence, The UK Food Standards Agency concluded that it showed that organically produced milk can contain higher levels of types of fats called short-chain omega-3 fatty acids than conventionally produced milk.
The report went on to downplay these results, however, stating that the results showed these fatty acids "appear to be of limited health benefit compared to the longer chain omega-3 fatty acids found in oily fish."

Nevertheless, The Soil Association has won a victory here. It has further scientific evidence for the link between organic food production and good quality food.

Indoor BBQ

I'm halfway through making a BBQ for Rosa when she gets back all wearing and punctured from acupuncture. As there were no rolls for the veggie burgers I picked up on the way home, I tried making some in the bread machine. I followed the recipe, set it to knead. Watched it need for five minutes (whilst I pre-boiled some sweetcorn) and then got fed up, took it out and kneaded it myself. Time is of the essence here (despite me sitting at the computer instead of cooking).
Also on the menu: salad from our little garden (and round lettuce from the shops) and a whole range of chutneys (yay! Chutney! I can't eat the plum chutney I made yet, as it must sit for 4-6 weeks first. Dag nam it.
After sitting in the drizzle at my sisters on the weekend (admittedly having a good chinwag, but still feeling damp), you'd think I'd have accepted that the British BBQ season is well and truly over, wouldn't you?
My chilli plant still has no flowers, :-(